Red Cross Training: Night One

So I went to the first night of Red Cross training all excited to learn things that I should already know like CPR and First Aid. The classes are currently being held in a giant local church. When we all arrived in class (fifty or so of us I guess, with the majority being part of the retired set) we were handed a giant packet of forms to fill out and a name tag with our names still smelly from the Sharpie used to write them. Part of the paperwork contained in the ginormous packet resembled a job application. Some of it asked the filler-outer if they had things like stitches (doesn't win you points when trying to volunteer for a disaster I'm guessing). But most of the papers contained in the packet were for purposes that I am still not even sure of. The mystery forms had spots for signatures and all of the codes written up on the giant white board for us to use on our mystery forms.
Anyway, once the commotion of the form filling out was finished, we were treated to a decade-old video about the Red Cross's role in helping those in need hosted by William Baldwin (you know the cute one). This movie was an excrutiating hour and a half long. It wouldn't have been so bad if the room wasn't stiflingly hot and the television smaller than the one in my living room. I can honestly say that I didn't learn a thing from this video.
After the hell of this video, we were allowed to take a half hour dinner break in the much cooler out doors. Upon returns to the classroom we watched videos about how to set up a shelter, and how to feed massive amounts of people. These videos were a bit more exciting, but did use quite a few clips from the Billy Baldwin video.
As the evening closed we were told that we would finish our course on sheltering and then move on to an actual Shelter Simulation which would take most of the next night's five hour class. (Oh, I forgot to mention that this class was five hours long. With the implementation of the horrid movies, this is enough to make even the most patient of people start to act like ADD-afflicted three year olds.)